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【Exploring The Jungle Between My Wife’s Crotch】

Alec Baldwin is Exploring The Jungle Between My Wife’s Crotchback on Saturday Night Livefor what may be one of his last appearances as President Donald Trump. And he used the opportunity to fess up to pretty much all the suspicions about the administration that we’ve had over the first 100-ish days.

In an interview with Lester Holt (Michael Che), who he called any number of inappropriate and incorrect other black men, Baldwin as Trump admitted he fired former FBI Director James Comey because he was investigating White House ties to the Kremlin.

“I fired him because of Russia,” Baldwin said. “I thought, ‘He is investigating Russia, I don’t like that, I should fire him.’”

Che thought, wow! We’ve got him! He’s confessed to obstruction of justice. But, no, that didn’t count, because no, nothing matters.

“I’ve got the Republicans in the palm of my hands,” Baldwin continued, ringing a tiny bell to beckon Paul Ryan as a 1950s soda jerk to bring him two scoops of ice cream.

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“Whatever you say, Mr. Trump!” Ryan chirps. “He feeds me dog food!”

Lest we get too used to Trump accepting blame for everything that’s gone terribly wrong in the country, Baldwin insisted that he is in fact not as bad as President Nixon. “I am nothing like Nixon because I am not a crook,” Baldwin said. Plus, Nixon only got one scoop of ice cream, not two.

It may look bad, but Trump doesn’t really care. “You think I care about optics?” Baldwin balked. “I sit on every chair like it’s a toilet.”

Che closed with perhaps the most salient observation about the administration so far, which is that nobody can handle it anymore.

“Your presidency is like the craziest show on TV, and it’s on 24 hours a day, and we can’t keep up.”

But, on we persist.


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